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The Great Gender Reveal Debate


As soon as she found out I was pregnant, the first thing one of my cousins (a mother of three) said to me was, “Please don’t find out the sex. It’s the best surprise ever and gives you motivation to get through labor.” One of my clients at work, this time a father of four, told me the same thing. I believe them. But I’m not listening. But I must find out the gender of our baby before he or she is born!

I actually did entertain the idea of waiting nine long months but Frank really wants to know. And I’ve done pretty much every gender prediction test out there. Frank calls it my “witchcraft.” I call it being an excited future mom. I’ve looked up my Chinese gender prediction, conducted the rosary bead test, had a friend do the needle test, asked my doctor to take an educated guess based on fetal heart rate and Googled every craving I have to see which sex it leans towards. And my friend is making me do the Intelligender pee test, which I know is probably only correct half the time, but it will be fun. So far, everything except the Chinese gender chart leads to the same result. But I’ll not telling.

A pregnant friend and I were just discussing this topic and I told her there’s a definite generation gap between today’s expectant parents and those of years ago. “The only thing knowing the gender of your baby rules out is the color pink,” my client told me.


That’s why I need to know!

We’re the Pinterest generation. We set up secret boards as soon as we received positive pregnancy test results. We’re obsessed with nursery décor and newborn photoshoots. Call us super nesters. Registering for baby items is one thing. Celebrating the birth of our babies is a whole other machine. It’s right up there with wedding planning when it comes to detail. Seriously.

Newborn photoshoots should be done the first week or two that the baby is home from the hospital to achieve prime poses. If you’re having a girl you need to find the cutest outfit and props. It takes time to scour Etsy. That’s not going to happen when you’re home from the hospital learning how to care for your first baby and haven’t slept in days.

And sure, the baby sleeps in your room for the first few months so you technically have time to decorate the nursery but are you really going to spend your six week maternity leave on the computer or décor hunting at Home Goods? No.

Then there’s the baby shower. Gender neutral clothes are great. I actually prefer them over little boy outfits with sports logos or a closet full of pink, but if you’re having a girl, there are so many cute things guests can give you. Plus, it impacts the theme of the baby shower. Favors, décor, etc call all be optimized once the sex is revealed. And by the way, that can happen during trendy new gender reveal parties.

Knowing in advance also helps narrow down the name search. We’ve read about three or four baby name books so far and still can’t settle on a name for one gender in particular. But if we’re not even having that gender, we can save ourselves hours of stress and veoting each other’s choices.

I also feel that I’ll bond more with the baby once I know if it’s a boy or girl. Every time I get nauseous or feel awful I’ll be able to say, that’s my (insert son or daughter’s name)! It’ll make the whole pregnancy experience a tiny bit easier to get through!

Ultimately, though, having a baby today is just too much fun to settle for the old fashioned way. Sure, even doctor’s predictions can be wrong and some girls pop out boys. But in the end, you’re getting the best surprise of all by seeing your baby for the first time. No gender prediction test is going to change that.

This entry was posted in: pregnancy


Navigating life as a wife, mommy of two babies (Genevieve-3, Luca-infant) and two rescued fur-babies (Lulu and Gracey), and full-time public relations maven. I got divorced in my 20s and wrote a book about it (, have Epstein Barr Virus/chronic fatigue syndrome/ Systemic Exertion Intolerance Disease, live in a renovated log cabin in NJ, can't cook, quit breastfeeding after four weeks and have no regrets, taught my daughter to say "tattoo" and recognize diamonds before she turned one, call soap operas as my guilty pleasure, and have a little rainbow baby boy who adores his sister. Instagram @ hellojoelle Twitter @ChippedNailsMom Email chippedpolishandpattycake at

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