When I was pregnant, I didn’t color my hair black as usual. By the time we took our newborn photos, I had about nine months of reddish brown roots and black ends.

Roots drive me crazy. I usually want all my hair to be the same, shiny color. I also like to have a little edge, so I always go back to black.

However, once I had the baby, I became obsessed with going back to my natural color. We have a new house and I didn’t want ruin the bathroom dying my hair black at home. You know how messy hair color is! And it’s too expensive to keep going to the salon every few months. I can’t justify the cost.

I went for a hair consultation and decided that I didn’t want to spend hours in the salon, away from my newborn, undergoing color correction. Also, my hair was so healthy and I know the bleach would damage it. So I left the color alone and decide to chop my hair:

It looked great when I left the salon, but once I started to style it in real life, I began to regret the chop. Usually, I love short hair. But I think the pregnancy weight gain in my face made me hate the way I looked. And the ends always curled under, which I hate.

I decided to go back to black a few months later:

I felt like myself again!  One of my favorite things about black hair is that I can wear any shade of lipstick- red or hot pink- to pop. And, I can rock my blue eyeglasses. Black complements everything.

Now, since I became a mom, I don’t have time to sit and blow-dry my hair every day. And I’ve found that the shorter my hair is and the more layers I have in it, the longer it takes to style. So I’ve been letting it grow out and air dry naturally curly. And I feel boring!

For months, I’ve been pondering going back to my natural color and adding in some balayage and ombre combo. Something I haven’t done before, though in my 20s I did go platinum blonde for a while. I feel like it might help me feel youthful and cool, even if I have long, air dried hair.

Looks I’ve been considering:

I went for another consultation and was told that the color correction will pull my hair to a reddish shade that I most likely won’t like because black always pulls to red. Then, I will have to live with that hair color for six to eight weeks until the highlights can be done. I booked the first appointment and then canceled.

I fear the color might not be what I want and then I’ll look like every other soccer mom with highlights.

I’m so torn! I am hoping I’ll like my hair better once I get a fresh cut and update my layers.  Then I’ll see where to go from there.

Since becoming a mom, I’ve neglected keeping up with myself. Hair care is expensive and time consuming. I don’t want to spend hours on a Saturday in the salon when the weekends are my only time I get to be in full-fledged mommy mode. Right now, it’s easier for me to let my hair grow longer so it can dry messy and still be presentable. The only problem is, I don’t feel like myself.

Motherhood is a constant battle for beauty. I’m not someone who lets her appearance go, but I’m not super high maintenance either.

I have a feeling I am going to play it safe and go back to black, but I’m giving myself another month to decide!